#11: start a gossip site

Two words, three letters: Harvey Levin’s TMZ

#10: engage in legislative advocacy… okay, lobbying

New administration = new agendas and new policies = lobbying opportunities. This week marked Obama’s 100 day anniversary in office and there is no shortage of CHANGE.

If lobbying is what you desire, don’t let President Obama’s campaign strategy kill your buzz. You, Ms. Lawyer-Non-registered-Lobbyist are the key to getting around Obama’s rules to keep lobbyists at arms length. Law firms are increasing their government affairs practices and using their expertise to prepare real people, their clients, to make their own pitches to the White House.

Read this Politico article and take a look at this funny.
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#9: tell jokes

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Tired of being the butt of stupid lawyer jokes?  How about these classics:

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What’s the diff between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Get revenge. Please!

Lawyer/Comedian Karen Bergreen insists that being a lawyer helps her as a comedian. She says that writing a joke is similar to writing a legal argument, except “in comedy, you take a set of facts and you come up with a conclusion that’s, hopefully, unexpected or funny.”

Need another joke to get you riled up?
Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, “Fees!”

#8: do magic

Lawyer/magician, Ray Karch points out, “deception is highly prized in both professions.”

Hey…I didn’t say it.

#7: work in the mailroom

Get a gig in the mailroom at one of the world’s largest talent agencies. Albeit, you’ll have to take a pay cut (yes, minimum wage), and vie for that promotion against the early-twenty-somethings, but its a small price to pay to become a Hollywood big-shot.

And yes, its just like Entourage, so watch closely.

Give it a shot… We did.

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#6: become a lego artist

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Corporate lawyer turned sculptor, Nathan Sawaya, travels the country sharing his work. His medium? LEGO® bricks.

Sawaya’s exhibition, The Art of the Brick, features works constructed from nearly one million Lego pieces. Sawaya created a replica of the Brooklyn Bridge spanning 7 feet and a life-size tyrannosaurus rex skeleton. He even built a sculpture of Stephen Colbert and created a portrait of Keith Olbermann.  Yes, with Legos!

Sawaya’s been a guest on Countdown with Keith Olbermann and David Letterman and has been featured in The Washington Post, Newsday and the Los Angeles Times.  You can’t tell me the law degree didn’t contribute to that! He’s certainly more interesting than the thirty year old guy with no job, who lives with his parents and plays with blocks.

Amazing.

(I’m inspired… thinking Play-Doh®)

photo from brickartist.com

#5: follow the blagojevich road to stardom

Consider following former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s road to stardom:
First law school and a short stint practicing law. Next, use that law degree (and a little help from your influential father-in-law) to get into politics; then drum up some scandal with federal corruption charges. With that, television producers will be eating out of the palm of your hand.

Finally (at last, my lonely days are over!), reality TV success as a contestant on “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here” in sunny Costa Rica, pending approval from a federal judge, of course. Blagojevich a celebrity? Really?

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photo from variety.com